Fill a Library...

or at least a small book.

With the things that little over a month ago, I didn't know. Didn't need to know. Didn't want to know.

Over a month ago, I didn't know what an EEG, MRI, or a Mesial Temporal Sclerosis was.

Still kind of iffy on the MST.

Over a month ago, I had no clue what Keppra, or Keppra Rage was. I had no idea what Lamictal, Depokate and Topamax were. I did know a little about Topamax, I thought it was a medication used strictly for migraines.

Over a month ago, my life didn't revolve around seizures, Dr Appts, Hospital visits, MRI scans, EEG's and medications. I didn't write seizures down on a white board on the fridge, I didn't have to try and think of creative ways to get a child to take medication. I didn't know what a primary generalized non convulsive seizure was, I didn't know what a partial complex seizure was.

Over a month ago, I didn't know that my world was going to be turned upside down

I distinctly remember last summer reading MckMama's Blog. Reading about Stellan's struggle with SVT. With trying over and over to find medications that would help him, to get his SVT under control, without the medication turning him toxic. While I know that what we're dealing with with Emma is nothing compared to what they went through with Stellan's surgerie's, medications, monitors, I remember thinking wow, am I thankful that that those aren't things I have to worry about!

And now, they are things I have to worry about, things I have to think about, research, things my life didn't include a month ago. It's a struggle for me everyday. I hate seeing my child have seizures, I hate shoving meds down her throat, I hate having to hold her down to get an IV in for her MRI. I hate it all. But, because I know that this is my reality now, this is her reality, our family's reality, I keep going, keep trying to make everyday as normal as possible for her. Normal for us. So this, is our New Normal.

"If God brings it to you, he will bring you through it"